My child sleeps on their side: which pillow do they need?

You look into their room in the evening and you find them curled on their side, one cheek on the pillow, back rounded. It is the favourite position of most children, and of plenty of adults too. It is perfectly fine. But when a child sleeps on their side, one detail changes everything, and few parents know it: pillow height matters even more than on the back.

Why? Because on the side, a real gap is left between the shoulder and the head. An empty space that needs filling so the neck stays straight, in line with the back. If the pillow is too low, the head drops. If it is too high, the neck bends upwards. Either way, your child spends part of the night looking for a comfortable position that never really comes.

In this guide we explain why the side position needs the right height, how to spot your child’s favourite position, and the very simple visual check that tells you their head is well placed. We also talk about the child who wriggles and changes position all night, and we recap the safety rule for little ones.

On the side, there is a gap to fill

When your child lies on their side, their shoulder touches the mattress, but their head stays higher up. Between the two there is a space. That is the gap the pillow has to fill, no more, no less. If it fills it properly, the head stays in line with the body and the neck is relaxed all night.

On the back, that gap is much smaller. The head is already almost in line, so little height is needed and a fairly flat pillow is enough. On the side it is the opposite: the space is bigger, so a bit more height is needed to keep the head straight. That is why the side position is the one that asks for the most support.

And since most children end the night on their side, that is often the position we look at first when choosing the right height. A pillow that holds the head well on the side will also do the job very nicely when the child rolls back onto their back.

Too high, too low: what it does to the neck

A pillow that is too high pushes the head upwards. On the side, the neck bends and pulls on one side all night. The child turns over, grumbles a little without knowing why, and sometimes wakes up with a stiff neck or in a bad mood.

A pillow that is too low, or too soft, does the opposite: the head drops towards the mattress and tips downwards. The neck is no longer in line, and the child compensates as best they can. They slide a hand under their cheek, hunch their shoulders, or end up with their head right beside the pillow.

When the height is right, the head stays aligned with the spine. The neck is straight, breathing through the nose comes more easily, and many parents then tell us their child moves less and sleeps more calmly. It is not magic, it is just a head resting at the right height.

• Too high: the neck bends upwards and pulls on one side.
• Too low: the head drops and tips downwards.
• Too soft: the head sinks in and the child wedges a hand underneath.
• Just right: the head stays straight, in line with the back.
• In the morning, a stiff neck or a grumpy waking can come from that.

How to spot your child’s favourite position

Many children spend the night moving about, but each one has a dominant position, the one they come back to most often and stay in longest. That is the one to spot, because it is what guides the choice of height.

There is no need to stay up all night. Look in on them at two or three different moments, without waking them. The best time is just before you go to bed, then once in the middle of the night if you get up, and finally in the early morning. The position you find them in most often is their favourite position.

• Have a look when you go to bed, then early in the morning.
• Note which position you find them in most often.
• On the side, cheek resting and back slightly rounded: this is the most common one.
• On the back, flat, arms spread out: this happens mostly at the start of the night.
• On the front, nose in the mattress: often temporary, they turn over on their own.

The right check at a glance

There is a very simple test to do one evening, once your child is asleep on their side. You stand at the foot of the bed or just facing them, and you look at their head and their back. The idea is to check that their neck stays nicely straight.

The right height follows age

That gap between the shoulder and the head is not the same size at 2 as it is at 10. A little one has tiny shoulders, so a very small space to fill. An older child has broader shoulders, so a deeper gap, which calls for more height. That is why pillow height is chosen first according to age.

Our pillow comes in three heights, designed to follow the child as they grow. The dip in the centre rises gently over the years, so it stays at the right height when the child needs it. You choose the size by age, then adjust for build.

Another useful point for side sleepers: a good child’s pillow holds its shape well all night. A pillow that is too soft flattens under the weight of the head, and the dip disappears after a few minutes. A shape that holds means a neck supported from bedtime through to morning.

• 1 to 3 years: a 2 to 4 cm dip, 50 × 30 cm size. A very first pillow, nice and low.
• 3 to 8 years: a 4 to 6 cm dip, 50 × 30 cm size. Shoulders that are starting to broaden.
• 8 to 14 years: a 6 to 9 cm dip, 54 × 32 cm size. More height for a bigger neck.
• You choose by age first, then adjust for the child’s build.

What if they change position all night?

That is the case for many children, and it is perfectly normal. They start on their back, roll onto their side, move onto their front, come back onto their side. You find them lying across the bed, the duvet pushed down to the end. There is nothing worrying in that, a child who moves is a child who is doing well.

In that case, you do not look for a pillow for every position. You choose the height for their favourite position, the one they spend the most time in, and most often that is the side. Since the side asks for the most support, a pillow set up for that position will also work very well when they roll back onto their back.

What helps a child who moves a lot is a pillow that holds its shape well. However many times they turn over, the dip is still there, ready to support their head each time they come back onto their side. That is what makes the difference between a broken night and a calmer one.

Before 1 year, no pillow

Everything we have just said applies to a child, not to a baby. Before their first birthday, a baby sleeps flat, on their back, on a firm mattress, with no pillow and no cushion. You do not lay them on their side and you do not add anything to their cot. That is the safety rule paediatricians remind us of, and it is better not to rush anything.

From 1 year, and most often around 2, a first thin pillow becomes possible, at the child’s own pace. That is when the side position and the right height start to matter.

And if your child snores loudly and constantly, if they have small pauses in their breathing, or real neck pain that lasts, those are not things to sort out with a pillow. Talk to your doctor or your paediatrician, they will reassure you far better than a purchase will.

Frequently asked questions

Which pillow for a child who sleeps on their side?

A pillow at the right height to fill the gap between their shoulder and their head, so the neck stays nicely straight. On the side, that space is bigger than on the back, so a bit more height is needed. You choose the size by age, then adjust for build.

How can I tell if the height is right when they sleep on their side?

Look at them asleep from the front or from the foot of the bed. If the line from their back up to their head is nice and straight, with no break at the neck, the height is right. If their chin points upwards, the pillow is too high; if their head tips downwards, it is too low.

My child changes position all night, how do I choose?

You choose the height for their favourite position, the one they spend the most time in, often the side. Since the side asks for the most support, a pillow set up for that position will also work very well on the back. A pillow that holds its shape well follows them through every change.

Is sleeping on the side bad for a child?

No, it is the favourite position of most children and it is perfectly fine. What matters is that their head stays properly aligned with their back. With the right pillow height, the neck is supported all night and the child sleeps more peacefully.

What if my baby already sleeps on their side?

Before 1 year, a baby is laid flat, on their back, with no pillow and no cushion. You do not position them on their side and you do not add anything to their cot. If you have a question about your baby’s position or sleep, talk to your paediatrician.